I've been diagnosed with a deadly disease that should kill me pretty soon.
My life's not that great anyways.
I work at a car dealership. I've only sold 3 cars in my entire life. When I got this horrible news, I went straight to my boss and told him.
"Fuck you, Mr. Dershowitz. I'm going to die! Suck it!"
That felt kinda good.
I've been sitting here, on my bed, for about three days now. The doctor said that I should be dropping dead about now.
Come on Death, where are you?
The wall disappears. A heavenly light shines through, onto my skin.
Yes, this is it.
And then I see him. The Angel of Death. In his trademark black robe, and carrying that oh, so, beautiful scythe of his.
"Hey Death. Let's get a move on."
He pulls out a notepad from under his robe, and looks at it.
"Hmm."
"Is there a problem, Death?"
"Well, according to this, you're not supposed to be here."
This confuses the fuck outta me.
"What does that mean? I'm not supposed to be here? I'm here. I'm dead. Let's go."
"Nope, sorry. Says here you're not supposed to be dead, or alive. You were never supposed to have existed."
I get out of the bed and take the notebook from him.
Son of a bitch. That's exactly what it says.
"I'm not supposed to be here."
"Yep. Sorry about the inconvenience."
He starts to leave. Not on my watch.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?"
"You just answered your own question, buddy."
"Wait, so, should I come with?"
"If you want. You don't have anywhere to be, specifically. You can do whatever the fuck you want."
He walks back through the wall, and he's gone.
But the wall is still missing. The light still is shining on my bed.
I'm not supposed to be here. This phrase, keeps repeating itself in my brain.
What does that mean. If I'm not supposed to be here, then, why am I here?
I think all the answers are in the light. I start walking. I'm nearly blinded, but then I get to the other side.
And there it is...
To Be Continued.......
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I have a feeling you will get published.
I have a few technical corrections for you. But they are minor. First, at the beginning, the '3' needs to be 'three'.
You can throw out the extra comma after 'so'.
Extra comma again. Throw it out.
I liked it. But I always like your stuff. I'm not exactly sure if I like the ellipses after the 'And there it is.' It might be more dramatic to just put a period after it. Only my humble opinion, of course. I most certainly want more. Post soon. Fast. Faster. Now.
I really liked it.
You left me hanging and i'm dieing to know what comes next.
When the man with the clip board is about to go back to hell and he says you can do what ever the fuck you want it shoocked me that he said this becasues he comes off at first as a morbid guy who does not care. The rashness of his repley was a tad out of charector.
Other then that it was awesome!
I loved it! I like your style of writing and you left me with:
"And there it is..."
I can't wait to see what's next!
-kittykat